Leaving the Domain of Darkness

Today I got to play with some really fun girls.  Someone had a pair of very child-sized orange plastic glasses that came to represent a character we’ll call la maestra , “the teacher.”  Whoever had the glasses on was responsible for worrying about the behavior of everyone else, preferably out loud, and preferably in a crazy teacher voice.  We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.  ( I was very thankful for my training in the school of Mr. Bradley Kent Fiddlesticks! )  

 
We spent the hour between homework time and dinner time running around outside , playing chinese jumprope , and swinging higher than today’s clear blue sky.  

And then a little friend asked me to play make-believe.  

“Let’s say I was an invalid and you were my mom.  You go get that stick over there--to hit me with.” 

My heart dropped a little bit.  I laughingly told her that I would never in a million years hit her, even if she were the worst-behaved child in the world.  To which she replied, “It’s just a game…” 

Except it’s not just a game.  Every kid grows up playing house and teacher and cops 'n robbers and orphans, but this is different.  This isn’t “pretending our parents abandoned us so we can make-believe that we live in the adult world.”  This is life for our girls before they come to us.  And it doesn’t magically go away with the first hot shower and fresh change of clothes they receive at the Oasis.  

Why would she want to re-live it?  Maybe it’s a need to process her trauma, maybe she's learning that things can be different, maybe she's trying to figure out what normal is because her experiences say one thing but her heart longs for another.  

 

And because it’s most likely more than all of the above , I pray like a desperate mama that our girls will hear their Saviour whisper this “other” truth : that they are loved , that they are wanted , that they are forgiven. 

“The Father rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”  --Colossians 1:13-14

And I cling to the hope that they can be made whole :

Though we be dead… He makes us alive.  ( Colossians 2:13 )

the power of relationships

Working at a home for emotionally wounded girls has me thinking about relationships … a lot .  Recently, my mom pointed me to this amazing resource by Leslie Vernick, and it voiced something I’d been trying for a week to put into words:

“The way someone treats you, whether it be good or bad, has little to do with you. It reveals something about who they are.” 

Umm… read that again!

This rings true on so many levels.  I want to live this way, and I want our girls to be able to live this way!  


First of all, God loves us. Greatly. This in spite of our obvious flaws and shortcomings. His loving response to us reveals more of His endless goodness than can anything else!  I can trust His character.  Despite mine. 

Secondly, if someone hurts me, physically or emotionally, it is not my fault. In the same way that God’s love depends on Him, not me, another person’s response to me depends on their character, not mine. That’s frightening and freeing at the same time. I did not cause it, and I can not control it. 

That brings me to number three: No one else is responsible for how I respond to them. They do not have the power to control my reactions. I may choose to be happy, angry, afraid of them, or what have you, but I am always responsible for what I think, say, and do.  That choice reveals my character, not theirs.

The vast majority of our girls come from places where this truth has been sabotaged since Day One. A healthy understanding of relationships just doesn't grow out of the soil they were planted in.  Part of the miracle that God does when they come here is to transform their sweet, wounded hearts from

frightened,
weak,
needy,  
o v e r - d e p e n d e n t ,
dishonest,
manipulative,
controlling,
angry,
violent,
b i t t e r ,
indifferent, (or a progression of a l l of the above) 
 
into confident, 
loving,
strong, 
g i v i n g , 
kind, 
honest, 
caring, 
p a t i e n t , 
compassionate, 
open, 
forgiving, 
passionate young women.  

It's a long process.  

When a girl spills kind words instead of bitter ones, my heart jus wants to praise God for the miracle He is working in her!

 

When a girl pushes the limits of my patience and understanding, I can thank God that she is here, and that He loves her, and that this is a good place for her to heal from the ugliness that’s pouring out. 

 When that girl is me… God’s grace becomes that much more personal.

 

God is working. Please pray for us. We need it!

 

When white looks black, Part 2

God almighty offers me LIFE! 

and all He asks in return is my complete trust and joyful, satisfied surrender.  I need a new word to refer to what I think of as “my life” - This thing I’m being asked to hand over is much too insignificant to deserve the title.  

from James 1

Every good gift bestowed… is from God. 

He calls us to life by His message of truth so that we will show the rest of His creatures His goodness and love. 

It is possible to open your eyes and take in the beautiful, perfect truth found in God’s law of liberty and live by it. If you pursue that path and actually do what God has commanded, then you will avoid the many distractions that lead to an amnesia of all true things and you will be blessed. 
- the Voice -

Abba, save me from the many, many distractions that cause me to forget for Whom I was made . . .  Open my eyes and I'll open my hands - what my flesh considers precious, let me value as rubbish - that I might gain Christ!