When white looks black, Part 1

Sometimes, God’s best for me comes wrapped in a package that I don’t want to open. 
Sometimes, I forget just how fully God can be trusted and I look for another way. 
Sometimes, I want to know “Why?” more than I want to know God.

How many times have I said, “No, thank you!” to a deeper, more satisfying love of God because I didn’t want to risk a lesser thing?  

For example, I don’t like being lonely. At all, really.  In fact, I kind of hate it.   BUT, if loneliness was what it would take to know God , would I accept it?  Or would I hesitate , ask questions , try my own way?

“When I feel lonely, I am feeling powerful theological truth in my soul… Loneliness acts like a divine sticky note that says, ‘Don’t forget for whom you were made.’” (source)  

The same Jesus who gave up equality with God to become human, walk this broken earth, and die says that there’s a good reason to sign up for hardships: to gain something better.

“If any of you want to walk My path, you’re going to have to deny yourself. You’ll have to take up your cross every day and follow Me. If you try to avoid danger and risk, then you’ll lose everything. If you let go of your life and risk all for My sake, then your life will be rescued, healed, made whole and full.” (Luke 9:23-24)

One thing is Essential

I'm more convinced than ever before that one thing matters in life: 

to love the Lord my God 

with all my heart, 

all my soul, 

all my mind, 

and all my strength.  

Granted, my main purpose for coming to Guatemala was to more effectually love these "neighbors" as well as I love myself (which if you think about it . . . is a pretty tall order!)

But quite frankly, loving anybody is impossible if I don't first love God with every fiber of my being and learn from him what real love looks like.  Love for others is the natural overflow of obeying the "first and greatest" commandment.  

Striving for results if I don't have the Source is merely an exercise in futility.  

1 Corinthians 13 translated into my daily life might read something like this : 

If I pass my Spanish exam with flying colors and a perfect accent but do not have love, I'm wasting my words.  

If I teach my 4 students with excellence in the absence of their regular teacher, explaining science and Guatemalan social studies and grammar with perfection, and if I can translate and prepare 100 thank-you cards for mailing to sponsors in the US but do not have love, it all means nothing.  

If I play with the girls for hours on end, help them with homework, and even watch them at night so the house moms can take a break but do not take the time to meet with God in the secret place, I might as well be playing Farmville because I have nothing of His light and love to pass on to the very ones I claim to be serving.  

"Love is patient; love is kind. Love isn’t envious, doesn’t boast, brag, or strut about.  There’s no arrogance in love; it’s never rude, crude, or indecent—it’s not self-absorbed. Love isn’t easily upset. Love doesn’t tally wrongs or celebrate injustice; rather, truth is love’s delight!  Love puts up with anything and everything that comes along; it trusts, hopes, and endures no matter what.  Love will never become obsolete."  

As for the cluelessness of being new here, it will pass.  Hanging out my laundry to dry without clothespins will get easier.  The loneliness of missing friends and family can be filled with the fullness of God, and new friends will come in time.  

" I realize that everything I know is only part of the big picture. But one day, when Jesus arrives, we will see clearly, face-to-face. In that day, I will fully know just as I have been wholly known by God."  

. . . The greatest 

                  . . . is love.  

Let's go get lost in God's love!  Amazing things are sure to follow!